More Random Thoughts of Awesomeness

What's up to my faithful followers, oh wait, that would be no one, GFY!!!  I digress.  Any who, I need to get back to writing on this damn thing.  I think one day it will be awesome to look back on and peer into the mind of a genius!!  BAHAHAHAHAH!!!  Any shits, as I'm driving my effing daily commute I had so many random thoughts popping into my head, how terrible we are as a society at forming our own opinion, how the media is ruining the social fabric of our society, how completely inept we are as drivers, how awesome Bohemian Rhapsody still is to this day!!  Dammit I love that song.  There are so many things I can write about, I just need to stop being a lazy shit and get back on this mule.

I won't get into any political shit at this time for fear that someday someone may actually read this shit and then I would be in dutch, or as Paula Dean would say "Some splaining to do"  said in the worst Ricky Ricardo voice ever.

I seriously couldn't figure out who would be more offended, Cubans or people with jaundice.

Welp, I'm going to make a concerted effort to write more often, I know I've said this before, go eff your face.  Got to get this shit out of my system before I'm dead and gone.

More to come.......

FUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

Why do the two most important women in my life have to fucking hate each other??!!!!!

Hello?????

Sack Of Wet Mice

So I'm doing my daily sojourn up the 95 corridor going to work this morning and hear something I haven't heard since I was a wee lil tike full of piss and vinegar.  Piss and vinegar?  Who the hell made up that expression, pretty sick ass if you ask me, but I digress.

Back in the day, as the kids like to say (cuz I'm hip assholes) cartoons ruled!!!  Cartoons ruled because as a society, we really didn't give a shit.  We were opinionated, out-spoken, harsh at times, and pretty effing funny.  Now the damn PC police come down on us with a fire hose like it's a 60's race riot.  Cartoons nowadays are no where near as edgy, and for that matter, funny as their counterparts from yesteryear (I'm not entirely sure I like the word yesteryear, but eff it, it's staying in).  Kids nowadays lack the sheer volume of cartoons we had growing up, I mean I can distinctly remember Monday through Friday before going to school watching cartoons for two hours, then when I got home cartoons where on from when I got home until around 5, then the marathon of sitcoms would come on!!  Ah, the sitcoms, now that's another blog in itself, I mean who didn't love Threes Company, Gimme A Break, Silver Spoons, Facts of Life and Diff'rent Strokes, with the exception of the episode when Dudley gets duped at the bike shop!!!  CREEPY!!

 

Back on track though, even the weekends were filled with more 'toon marathons.  Saturdays, pretty much started at 6 am with the Adventures of the Gummi Bears, which I would never totally admit to watching, pussy.  After that, you had The Shirt Tales, Thundarr The Barbarian, The Monchichis, Mister T, Alf, Alvin & The Chipmunks, and let's not forget The Smurfs, although I effing hated the lil blue bastards.  I remember kicking mushrooms over just thinking I was destroying the little rodents.  Yeah, I was a sick fucking puppy!!(Jim Norton reference). 

 

After the seemingly endless run of 'toons my Saturday afternoons would segue (that's segway for the idiots out there!!)  to Monster Theater for a

couple of hours and then Kung Fu theater for the rest of the day.  Now don't get me wrong, I spent plenty of time outside running the streets, okay, woods of my hood and boast about being outside from pretty much sun up to sun down, but much of that was broken up by an annoying amount of running back inside and checking to see what episode of JEM was showing, I mean Silver Hawks!!!!!

Not only was there such an absurd abundance of cartoons to choose from, the content of the 'toons and life lessons they taught were immeasurable.  I mean how else would we learn Latin culture without the likes of good ole Speedy Gonzales, or understand the jive talkin vernacular of the Black community without Heckle and Jeckle.  I first learned of Black Face and Al Jolson because of the many iterations of him by Tom from Tom and Jerry.  And not all 'toons were of the racist variety, I mean Might Mouse was a super hero and they even tried to break the mold of the super hero look with him and his many variations. 

 

I could go on and on yammering about 'toons of my childhood but since I haven't blogged in a while, I don't want to blow my load all on this one magnificant piece of "blogging".  I will leave you with one of the greatest lines by a cartoon in the history of great lines by a cartoon eloquently spoken by the greatest example of Southern Charm Mr. Foghorn Leghorn, "Nice girl, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice."

And on that note, I'm out bitches!!!

Thank you.

I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you to a wonderful woman who displayed grace and compassion like no other.

A week ago we lost Connie Huber, Sher Khan, and I know that life without her will never be the same. My life was never the same the moment I was introduced to her over 10 years ago. From the moment Pooz introduced me to Connie and Paul, they treated me with such respect and humility that I had never really experienced before in my life. To come in as a total stranger and for them to accept me into their lives is simply amazing.

In the past 6 years I've dealt with something I've never dealt with before in my life starting with the passing of my boy Markeet, the loss of Deb's mom Ruthann, Granda Kay, and now Connie. The experiences I gained from each of these individuals have helped me get through each loss and have taught me to appreciate my time with those still here. I'll be the first to admit that is still a work in progress, as can be attested by my quick temper and my tough criticisms of my family and myself. But, I would not be the kick ass husband, father, son, dude that I am without having each one of these individuals in my life and the experiences we shared.

Sher Khan, and A.U, gave me a physical tangible image of how I want to envision my life with Pooz, from the "Open 24 Hours" front porch, to the stability and reasoning we can provide when friends and family come to us for support.

There are so many memories I cannot begin to list them all, but I will always remember the simple image of her sitting in the dining room with a glass of tea.

Thank you Connie!!

Really? Are you effing kidding me?

So i sit here on a random saturday night, about a milky way full o'beers inme and thinking to myself, I can be thinking about an ess ton of different things. But nooooooo.......

That's not the case. I'm surrounded by way effing too many marriages crumbling around me. I know, you're thinking, this dude has way more witty and funny shit to say, but now, I'm more like what the fuck!!!! You fucking clowns are effecting my life. My kids play with yours, my wife hang with yours, we all used to party together, having cookouts, get-togethers, etc, now, that shit is out the window.

Yeah, we can still have cookouts, provided everyone can get along, our wives can still hang out, provided you think we're cool enough to, yeah we can party together when we plan separate parties. You know what I say? TWATS!!!!!!! You all are acting like TWATS!!!!!

I'm not going to get in too deep on this post and I really don't care if I offend anyone cuz nobody really reads this shit anyways but I will say to all those fucking it up,

Thanks!!! Ass Clowns!!!!

Oh, and I love you honey, Got Dayem!!!!!!! We kick ass!!

Oh, and just cuz I know you wanna see this shit....

American Idol Revisited

Some time ago, I wrote a post about America's next big superstar. Well, much as happened since we were graced with the beautiful stylings of Kayde Brigham. During that time, we endured one of wacktastic winters I can recall. During that winter, we had a couple of epic snowfalls that caused floods and government shutdowns. Well, during the shutdown, Pooz and I had plenty o' time together so we did what any good ole red blooded American couple does, we procreated. Nine months later.....

Well, a year later lil Timmy is doing some pretty swagtastic things.....

But none of this compares to the original Brigham American Idol. And what has the former superstar been up to you ask? Well, let's just say, she may be trying out for the new Fly Girls on the new In Living Colour reboot.




ENOUGH WITH ALL OF THE MOVIE AND TELEVISION REBOOTS ALREADY!!!!!!!

Return of the Maize and Blue

Man I've been burning up this blog, with all of the weekly random thoughts series and all, eff off I've been busy being a dad and all! I digress. Well it's that time of year again, temperature begins to drop, leaves start turning, waistline expanding (I'm still a hot Adonis bitches!) it's football season. Thank the maker too cuz the bosox just laid the biggest egg of a september in history. It was completely the players fault too, thanks for memories Francona.

Well back to football, my boys in maize and blue are 5-0 again to start the season, and we all know what happened before, yeah yeah yeah late season ass pounding, we know! But this season seems a little less potentially nuts crushing, I mean look, we actually have a defense. Now no one will mistake them for the '97 squad but hey, we didn't give up 30+ points to a team like UMass. Yeah that UMass famous for Dr. J, Marcus Camby, and don't let us forget about Lou Roe, Edgar Padilla and Carmelo Travieso!

Well I'm gonna keep this one short, damn kids won't let me get a moments rest.

Random Thoughts Series

I'm gonna try a new weekly series for all of my dedicated readers of this most wonderful informational venue, which is currently me, GFY! I'm gonna start posting random thoughts I have throughout the week, just to give you a sneak peek into the mind of a genius.

Self - "if I accidentally let one slip past the goalie whilst on my morning commute, obviously I will be heading back home, but do I stop to clean up or ride it out til I get to the fortress of solitude sitting in my stuff? I mean if Timmy can sit in his surely I can as well"

That's just a teaser, much more to come! Hooray!!

Getting back on the horse!

I guess there's no better time to get back on that bag of glue, that would be the proverbial horse to all the kids and dumbasses, then now at 4 in the mo'nin! Seems like my lil man doesn't like or need sleep anymore (oh and he just farted right at me, little shit)! I need to be more diligent with updating this awesome site of great information. I also need to be more diligent with working out because I'm becoming a bit of a fatty.

More to come from neighborhood friendly curmudgeon!

March Effing Madness!!

Well boys and girls, tis that time of year again, football is over, the weather is turning warmer, and it's March! No it's not Mardi Gras



Or St paddy's day



It's March Effing Madness bitches!!!!! Awwww, the memories



Not so much this



I know I know it's a little late in the game and most of you are used to nothing but dick and fart chokes from me but you can suck it! No one reads this shit besides me anyway. This is about the special time of the year that proudly promotes gambling and one of the largest waste of work time outside of Valentine's Day when all the dudes are scrambling to find their significant other a shitty last second gift.

Now the boys in maize and blue made a surprising return to the dance and damn near shocked the world again but unfortunately fell short of the so-called "uncle toms"! On top of that it was great to see Coach Fisher back in the dance with San Diego St. Maybe this is the reason this year's tournament has been one I have been geeked about in quite sometime.

I'm really not going to bore you with my slightly buzzed ramblings about sports, especially since most of you all only come here to see these




Holla bitches!!

People are effing idiots!

And with that being said......I get back into business of putting my pointless shit on the world wide web!

But seriously people are efftards and I know I ain't supposed to say tards but I wasn't supposed to say "ain't" either so GFY!! At the seasoned age of 37 why am I still dealing with high school shit!




Well I won't waste my first blog in a year on that shit, so "after these messages we'll be right back!"

Holla bitches!!!

We Are The Who?

Holy monkey dung it's been a long time since I've posted anything. A lot has been going on with your neighborhood friendly curmudgeon. Let's see, we had a surprising wedding announcement, a mending of strained family relationships, a massive snowfall right before Christmas, a subsequent flooding of our basement after Christmas (20 years of saved Playboys ruined), another massive snowfall, an entire week of no work, blah, blah, blah.

Well during this time of solitude, the tiny island of Haiti was slammed with a massive earthquake, and the world opened it's arms and wallets to help out. Now I will refrain from saying some things that I've said out loud and gotten into a little trouble for, but one thing I do have to speak on is the 25th anniversary and release of We Are The World. Now when that song and video came out, I had just turned 10 years old, holy shit!!! Anyways, it was the who's who of the recording industry, I mean who can forget the collaborating styles of Lionel Richie before his wife beat the ess out him, Kim Carnes and her smoky raspy sexy voice, she was by the way the original cougar, and many others, including a black Michael Jackson.

Now I appreciate what the new artists are trying to do and all, but I just watched the video and I shit you not, I recognized maybe 10% of the artists. (I love the fact that the Dude was in it, The Dude!!) I also find it a little bit strange that Lil Wayne can have a singing part, yet they have to break into the whole rap interlude with LL, Snoop, etc. Has Lil Wayne risen to such heights he stands apart from these legends, I would beg to differ.

Any nuts, I basically used the 25th anniversary of We Are The World to getting back to writing on this damned thing. I hopefully will be posting much more and have plenty o' tales of debauchery. Well, not really, after all I am an old fart now (resounding THUD).

I'm out bitches!!

Sometimes....It has a mind of it's own.

As LiLu explains, the day of humility is upon us. Please join in and share and read stories of sheer awesomeness, but let this be your warning, not intended for the weak stomached, the elderly, and small children, and possibly my wife.

Well, I've stated many times on how awesomely rad it is to be a dude and not have to deal with the intricities of being a woman such as THIS and especially THIS!!! (I especially like the picture of throwing a hot dog down a hallway)

Well, being a dude has some shall I say "special" intricities as well. I think we all know about the episode of Seinfeld with "shrinkage"

"Do women know about shrinkage?"
"What do you mean, like laundry?"
"No..."
"Like when a man goes swimming... Afterwards..."
"It shrinks?"
"Like a frightened turtle."
"Why does it shrink?"
"It just does."
"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."

Other times it's the complete opposite, usually in the morning. I mean you could push doors open with it, and not the flimsy screen doors mind you, I'm talking about Star Wars grade blast doors. There are times where it would be completely dangerous to walk into a China Shop for fear of knocking everything over, and I'm not talking about with my hands mind you.

Well, there is nothing more awkward than riding mass transit in the morning, standing up and realizing I'm saluting the poor old lady sitting across from me. Good thing Senator Craig wasn't there, or that would've been uncomfortable.

I think it's safe to say most guys remember being in school when the teacher requests your prescence at the chalk board to share your awesome mathematical skills at the most inopportune time. You respectfully decline and as Eddie Murphy so politely put it, "I'll take the zero."

Most of the time this can be covered up by the proper pants such as these:


But, under no circumstances should sweatpants be used:




The mystery of "Morning Wood". And with that, I'm out bitches!!!

Holy Esss, Me Wants!!!!

In today's age of trying to be a fit and healthy country, we are inundated with an ass load of ways to eat and be healthy. Apparently we are a country full of lard asses. Well, if I remember correctly, "Lard Ass" got the last laugh at the annual blueberry pie eating contest.




That being said, it seems that some of our gluttonous providing establishments missed the memo. Case in point, McD's now has the 1/3 pounder angus burgers, which I must say are effing awesome.

Well, there is a new leader in the clubhouse apparently. I say apparently because this new player has taken on somewhat of a mythical status. Mythical like the giant squid or bigfoot, not mythical like unicorns. Meaning there have been alleged sightings of said mythical beings. (I used mythical like a lot of times in that last part, I know, GFY!!) Oh and just in case you were wondering, the best, most telling footage of bigfoot came in the National Geographic documentary about a family who happens to come across the creature and emmerse him into suburbia:



Well, this new player in all things fat-inducing is brought to us from the ole Colonel himself, Kentucky Fried Chicken. (I refuse to call it KFC, keepin' it old school baby!!)

This beast of a sandwich apparently consists of bacon wrapped in melted pepperjack and swiss swimming in the Colonel's special sauce (I don't even want to think about what the Colonel's special sauce, sounds like a TMIT post to me.) Well this sounds pretty average if you ask me, but they then take on awesome to power of hell yeah status by substituting bread buns with the Colonels original recipe breast buns. You read that correctly my friend, buns made of pure chicken teets.



All I can really say is "Well done Colonel, well done!!" I must find this alleged handheld slice of heaven and shove it down my yumhole, NOW!!!

I'm out bitches!!!

A Roll Of The Dice

As LiLu explains, the day of humility is upon us. Please join in and share and read stories of sheer awesomeness, but let this be your warning, not intended for the weak stomached, the elderly, and small children, and possibly my wife.




I have never been to Vegas and probably never will, it's been about 12 years since I've been to Atlantic City, and I will probably never go to that dump of a city again. It's not like I'm going to take the fam to that beach when the aforementioned Ocean City is a mere used rubber's throw away.

"Back on track!!!"

What I'm getting at is that I will probably never go to a legit gambling mecca such as Vegas or AC, however I do believe that I roll the dice on a daily basis and on a few occassions have nearly come up snake eyes, and not the kick to the ass dude from GI Joe.



Everday I get up to go to work and I ask myself, "hmmm, will I make it?" You see, everyday I make a 60 mile trek to work and in our area we have HOV lanes for persons that carpool with 3 or more people. And since I'm generally not a people person and I smoke, and like odd and offensive music, I don't like to ride with other people, but the great commonwealth has allowed drivers of hybrid vehicles to ride in these lanes all bys thems selves, ha ha bitches!!! Anyways, once you get on these HOV lanes, you are pretty much locked into them like a mini prison sentence minus the obligatory prison rape. Well, as I leave my house I usually have a mug of joe for the trip. Well, for some odd reason, it turns out that coffee is like natures POO INDUCER, at least for me, and conveniently the first hot flash wave doesn't perkilate until after I've gotten onto said HOV lanes.

Now I have to do the seductive dance of twisting in my seat to change positions, squinting my eyes as if I'm summoning some mystical shart preventing deity, rolling down all windows to get some cool air, anything to keep myself from having a cataclysmic event happen right in my pants, right in my car.

Well, that's just the first part, because, once I get to my normal stop I still have to take a commuter bus to get to my main office. Now take all of the pain and uneasiness of my car ride, and amp that bitch up 10 fold as these buses aren't the most comfortable rides, and my stop is the last of like 7 stops. The good thing about where I work is the numerous buildings along the route. I have on quite a few occassions rushed into a random building at 7 in the morning, ran into the little cafe and shouted at the poor deli lady preparing the days meats, WHERES THE BUILDING RESTROOMS!!!! Usually they can see the pain in my flushed face and eyes and are compassionate and point me right to the public restroom. Sometimes they can see the pain in my flushed face and eyes and are complete douches by pointing me into every corridor that doesn't have a bathroom.

I don't know how many close calls there have been, but it is safe to say, I have my excuse to my boss on why I have to rush home all written out in my crackberry ready to send at moments notice.

Luckily I haven't had to use that draft email, but that doesn't mean I haven't had one slip pass the goalie on other occassions, which will be a story for another day.

Later bitches!!!

TMI Thursday

As LiLu explains, the day of humility is upon us. Please join in and share and read stories of sheer awesomeness, but let this be your warning, not intended for the weak stomached, the elderly, and small children, and possibly my wife.




So this is my first foray into TMI Thursday, and I ask please be gentle. Some few weeks ago me and the fam went to Myrtle for vacation, that's right, white trash capital of the south, only second to the white trash capital of the north, Ocean City Md.

Somewhere between the 7 hour drive, the shitty bed, the sad attempt at impressing my son and daughter with my wicked to the power of rad skills at skimboarding, and the return trip, I screwed my back up. God damn it effing blows to get old, my knees hurt, got the gout, and now I got a bad back. Well, some of that may be a stretch but this is my story so go scratch. I was trying to tough through the pain, because I am dude and that's what dudes do, but after a randy nocturnal escapade with the misses one night, I woke up the next morning damn near incapacitated, I actually buckled at the knees trying to put my socks on!! Anyways, Pooz finally talks me into going to see a chiropractor. I was totally freaked at the thought of having some donk twist my spine to make it sound like a kid twisting a sheet of bubble wrap, but, I've heard how awesome you can feel after Dr. Giggles manipulates your spine so I go.

(Not really my doctor, but that's the frightening mental concept I got).

Well for the first visit Dr. Giggles comes in and gets some past information from me such as the level of pain, what I may have done to cause this, if I've ever seen a grown man naked. After that, he tells me to put on the gown and takes me through a series of stretches to see my range of motion. He then has his assistant come in and she hooks me up to the electroshock machine, which is kind of awesome. She hooked the little pads to my lower back and cranked that bitch up and the next thing I know, my ass checks are doing the samba, involuntarily I might add. Apparently this is quite common as she was most unimpressed with my ability to ass dance without moving. Well, after about 20 minutes of that, she tells me Dr. Giggles will be back in to "manipulate" my spine, ahhhhh!!!! (sound clip of dramatic music inserted here)(not really, but it would have been kewl if I could have found one.)

I'm nervous as all get out, Dr. Giggles comes in and tells me to lay on my side with one leg bent. He pretty much sits on the bent leg and pulls my opposite arm and my back snaps like the aforementioned bubble wrap. WOW!!! That wasn't so bad I think to myself. He tells me to flip over on the other side and he does it again. I'm thinking this is kick ass to the power of 10. Then he tells me to lay flat on my stomach. No, he didn't put both hands on my shoulders you pervs!!! He does put both hands on my back and tells me to breath in deep and let it all out. Just as I am exhaling he pushes on my back in an attempt to further crack my back. Well, I don't think he got the outcome he was looking for. As he pushed all of his weight on my back at the same time I exhaled, this caused the air to escape in any way it could, flatulently. Well, that was awkward. Imagine the horror, me wearing a hospital gown with the back wide open, and the only filter for the internal gases are my boxers. Well needless to say, Dr. Giggles got right up and said that should do it for the first visit, go a head and get dressed and I'll be back in to further discuss the treatment.

Well, this concludes my first forray into TMIThursdays. Be nice!!!

This is a "must-have"!!

So scouring the internets the other day, I came across something that caught my eye. This device is listed on Skymall's website and I absolutely have to have one. Now for those of you who don't know what Skymall is, let me enlighten thee. Skymall is a company that sells just about any kewl piece of shit that you can definitely live without however makes you that much more awesomer. You usually find their nifty little circulars in the back of an airline seat, hence the name Skymall, get it, Sky like where a plane flies, mall, place where you buy things, idiot.

Anyway, I have items that have been purchased from Skymall. My lovely Pooz has purchased me the credit card slider which is always the conversation piece with the dredges of the local Valero gas-n-sip, "We ain't never seen nothin' lak dat bufore", even though they saw it the day before when I was buying gas, and the day before that when I was buying beer, and then the day before that when I was buying smokes. YOU HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE!!!!!

(Focus, back on track)Well, I do believe my next purchase from Skymall just may be the kewlest thing I've ever seen, actually, it's okay. I've seen a lot of kewl things in my time so I can't honestly say that, I mean Two Girls One Cup, come on.

I digress, Skymall now has available for the wine enthusiast in your life the perfect gift. The WINE GLASS HOLDER NECKLACE.



Now if you click on the linked site above this should take you to product details for further amusement. I especially love the description "Keep your hands free at parties by keeping your wine close at heart! This clever little clip with adjustable strap holds a regular-size stemmed glass to your chest, giving you the freedom to snack and socialize as you sip!"

Yeah, keep your hands free so you can attempt to defend yourself as you get your face kicked in for looking like the biggest fuckstick at the party. What's funny about this is the fact that someone has actually purchased this piece of shit. If you look at the "reviews" poor Jefferson drank the Kool-Aid and bought one of these. Well safe to say, his review is not the most glowing. The good thing is that they are sold in sets of 2, so not only will you have a counterpart to look like an assclown at the party, but you will have company in the ER as they attempt to surgically remove the wine glass from parts unknown.

(Million dollar question,what wrestler was from "Parts Unknown"?)

And with that, I bid g'day, bitches!!!

Effing Facebook

So apparently there is this "new" interwebs fad called Facebook. Apparently you fill out all of this personal information in order to sign up and once you're done, anyone whoever knew you can find you. Yeah, that's exactly what I want!!!! How 'bout not at all. I know, I know, Facebook is far from new, but I stand by my statement that it is a fad, much like MySpace, Twitter, or any other "social networking" application. Social networking my ass, this is stalker central, a platform for all the derelicts of society to wreak havoc on the innocent lemurs who post their information out there. I know what you are saying, "what a hypocrite, you blog on the internet dude". But, cocknozzle, nobody reads my blog, as can be attested by the plethora of comments left for all of my posts (silently weeping, a single tear runs down my delicate cheek). Phewww, sorry about that, momentary emotional breakdown.

But back to Facebook, I know everyone and their cat has a Facebook page, but I refuse. If I have to sign up for one more goddamn site and fill out questions like what my interests are, where I graduated, what book am I reading, etc, etc, I will beat Al Gore's ass for ever inventing the Internet, cuz you know he did. I got suckered into MySpace and have not been to my page in over two years. Last I checked, it had a dancing Stormtrooper, and possibly been hacked into.

There are other reasons why I won't do the Facebook thing, sometimes I don't want to be found, like the time I ..... uh nevermind. Self-implication is never a good thing. I also don't want to be one of those people, you know, those people who have to update every goddamn minute on what they are doing!!

.....just got done eating a bowl of chili, think I gotta run to the Fortress of Solitude!!!

.....my cat just yacked on the floor again, gotta hold him under water for a few minutes!!!

.....went to the beach and realized how old and out of shape my formerly adonis ass is!!!!!

I say to those people, GFY!!

Actually, the reality of it is I won't sign up for Facebook because I fear that no one would friend me :(

I mean hell, at least on MySpace, I was guaranteed at least one friend. "You're my boy Tom!!!"

But on Facebook, I would see all of these old people I used to know and roll with and hope they would send friend requests only to receive none, or my requests would be denied. (crying, huddled naked in the corner).


Then I would have to get all Danny McGrath on their bitch asses.