As LiLu explains, the day of humility is upon us. Please join in and share and read stories of sheer awesomeness, but let this be your warning, not intended for the weak stomached, the elderly, and small children, and possibly my wife.
Well, being a dude has some shall I say "special" intricities as well. I think we all know about the episode of Seinfeld with "shrinkage"
"Do women know about shrinkage?"
"What do you mean, like laundry?"
"No..."
"Like when a man goes swimming... Afterwards..."
"It shrinks?"
"Like a frightened turtle."
"Why does it shrink?"
"It just does."
"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."
Other times it's the complete opposite, usually in the morning. I mean you could push doors open with it, and not the flimsy screen doors mind you, I'm talking about Star Wars grade blast doors. There are times where it would be completely dangerous to walk into a China Shop for fear of knocking everything over, and I'm not talking about with my hands mind you.
Well, there is nothing more awkward than riding mass transit in the morning, standing up and realizing I'm saluting the poor old lady sitting across from me. Good thing Senator Craig wasn't there, or that would've been uncomfortable.
I think it's safe to say most guys remember being in school when the teacher requests your prescence at the chalk board to share your awesome mathematical skills at the most inopportune time. You respectfully decline and as Eddie Murphy so politely put it, "I'll take the zero."
Most of the time this can be covered up by the proper pants such as these:
But, under no circumstances should sweatpants be used:
The mystery of "Morning Wood". And with that, I'm out bitches!!!
Well, I've stated many times on how awesomely rad it is to be a dude and not have to deal with the intricities of being a woman such as THIS and especially THIS!!! (I especially like the picture of throwing a hot dog down a hallway)
Well, being a dude has some shall I say "special" intricities as well. I think we all know about the episode of Seinfeld with "shrinkage"
"Do women know about shrinkage?"
"What do you mean, like laundry?"
"No..."
"Like when a man goes swimming... Afterwards..."
"It shrinks?"
"Like a frightened turtle."
"Why does it shrink?"
"It just does."
"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."
Other times it's the complete opposite, usually in the morning. I mean you could push doors open with it, and not the flimsy screen doors mind you, I'm talking about Star Wars grade blast doors. There are times where it would be completely dangerous to walk into a China Shop for fear of knocking everything over, and I'm not talking about with my hands mind you.
Well, there is nothing more awkward than riding mass transit in the morning, standing up and realizing I'm saluting the poor old lady sitting across from me. Good thing Senator Craig wasn't there, or that would've been uncomfortable.
I think it's safe to say most guys remember being in school when the teacher requests your prescence at the chalk board to share your awesome mathematical skills at the most inopportune time. You respectfully decline and as Eddie Murphy so politely put it, "I'll take the zero."
Most of the time this can be covered up by the proper pants such as these:
But, under no circumstances should sweatpants be used:
The mystery of "Morning Wood". And with that, I'm out bitches!!!
