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Well, quite possibly the most trying year of my life continues with very little change. This past Thursday, 26 March 2009, Grandma Kay passed away. She was a 100 years young.



Along with the passing of my mother-in-law and the other devastating losses Pooz and I have faced this past year I sit back and try to make sense of it all. But that, I don't think is possible. You can't simply put an answer on these types of things and tie them up with a nice little bow and then everything will be okay.

Well, I've just spent the past 45 minutes staring at this damn computer trying to think of something to write. I could easily ramble on with a slew of anger and frightening thoughts but what good would it do. I will go on to say that I am without a doubt a much better person for knowing and having had these two women in my life. Thank you and I love you.

The Day Has Come and Gone

Well kiddies, the day has come and gone. The decor was elaborate, the spread was vast and the levels of estrogen was higher than Snoop Dogg at a Cheech and Chong viewing. At promptly 7:21, that was officially twilight (get it "Twilight), the party to end all parties had started. Now many of you readers, okay, seriously, just me, may remember the scenario. The Fortress of Solitude, the most awesome to the power of kick-ass man cave, was getting transformed into the land of rain, clouds and sparkly emo self loathing vampires.




The transformation was as impressive as watching Unicron change from a planet eating umm planet, to a freakin robot large as a planet.



(Stupid Galvetron)

Well, to say the least all of this was my sad attempt at retaining my title as coolest to the kick-ass husband of all time.



I have to say, the spread was impressive, and only made better by the catchy titles of the dishes, I mean come on, we had "Cullen Crab Bombs" and "Stake in the Heart Chicken Satay and Beef Skewers".




I'm really having a tough time at writing something sarcastically witty and potentially offensive. Not sure if it's because I know how much this party meant to Pooz or if it's true, that I now have relenquished all traces of dude von dudenstein when I passed my sack to the devil for the aforementioned title. Okay, that was a sad attempt at something sarcastic, witty, funny, but turned out to be an epic fail. I'll just post some pics of the grand event.










Those are just a few of fun moments of the official Twilight Release Party of 09. And one last shot of the big payoff on why I do the things I do.

BK - Home of the EOE

We live in a society these days that lacks the compassion and rights of others. Too often people are judged by the physical outside features as opposed to their character and all that other stuff that people should be judged on. Certain people are looked passed in jobs and opportunities because of their sex, race, religous beliefs instead of whether or not they are capable of performing said duties. We often see the same ole cookie cutter images splashed across the magic babysitter, awesome Cable Guy reference if you didn't catch that. Try and keep though, because at times I will get way more obscure. I digress.

Well, one company has taken the noble high road and bucked the trend of said cloned sheep. For years this company has done things their way by allowing you to have it "your" way. They have helped fuel the passion of old memories of grilling over an open flame, introduced the world to an obscure band named Coq Roq, yeah, you read that correctly, COQ ROQ!!!!!



They're coqs that roq. They also brought royalty to our beds, a certain king caught in the sheets, awesome in a frightening way. Not frightening like James Gumb asking you to help him load his van with some furniture but frightening like a freakin dude with a holy shit huge and shiny head of a king laying in your bed frightening.




If you haven't figured out who this company is, then obviously you are not sharp enough for this blog and should keep running with those scissors. Those still with me, I will continue. Burger King continues to amaze with their willingness to think outside of the same old burger box. Their latest example of true compassion for all of the creatures of Earth is pure genious.




I mean come on, who doesn't love to see a midget, sorry, little person, wearing farmer bibs and driving a tractor whilst pedaling small mini breakfast num nums. Pure advertising genious, you have little people, overalls, breakfast num nums, and did I mention little people in overalls selling breakfast num nums. Once again, my hats off to you BK, for taking a chance and bucking traditional wisdom. Home of the Whopper, my friend, you are indeed "King of the Castle".

Mad Marchness

The Super Bowl is done, Opening Day is still a few weeks away, the Masters are still a couple of weeks off, and the NBA is not close enough to the playoffs to peak any interest for me. This can be considered by some as Sports Pergutory, but with the drabness of the month of March with it's weather indecisiveness, cold and snowy one day, warm and sunny the next, there is something on the horizon that gets the ole mojo runnin, March Madness is upon us, and for once in I can't remember how many years there is a legit shot of my boys in maize and blue making it to the party. In the second year of the new Beilein era, and with early wins against UCLA and Duke, both ranked 4 at the time, I am butt scised to see if my boys can make it in. There is still a chance the NCAA selection committee will whore them, but there is a legit chance to make it to the show.

I await with bated breath, alright that may be a bit much, but nonetheless I am excited to be excited about UM basketball again. There were years during the Amaker years that were decent and the years with Ellerbe did get an NIT champion, but the sting of the Fab Five era has lasted for so long. Don't get me wrong, one of the main reasons I am such a fan of UM basketball is because the Fab Five. I feel they changed the culture and style of college basketball, with the black socks and baggy shorts. I know there are donks out there that will say their teams had this before the Fab Five but no one pushed it in the face of society like they did. Coach Fischer had the coup of all time by getting these five recruits, some say illegally but that doesn't concern me. I just know I have the lasting memories of watching Jalen Rose toss a behind alley oop to a trailing Jimmy King against Temple, the angry swagger of Chris Webber after one of his many dunks, or the utter shock that five freshmen were starting an NCAA tournament game and causing concern for other teams. Well with those lasting memories, I also have the sour taste of what could have been. Those five should have easily won 2 NCAA titles, however, money called, and the 5 became 4, then subsequent years, down from there. Then, the Dark Years, the probation, lack of recruits, mediocre coaching, and the constant rebuilding we seemed to be in. Well, with Beilein, we were on a three year schedule to become a good team, but with the early wins we are ahead of schedule. Hopefully, by the end of the day, the Wolverines will be dancing in the big show and I can have the nasty taste of the last memory of the Fab Five further pushed out of my mind.

The Frog Brothers Object

The day is nearly upon me. That day which my most awesome to the power of kickass "man cave" becomes a squealing, panting, and probably sometime "reowing!!!" den of estro. This event will beckon 10 if not more of Pooz's fellow harlets to join together in worship of a cult that I have a serious problem with: TWILIGHT!!!!! (Insert ear shattering sound byte of bloodcurdiling scream now) !!



Now mind you, I understand the appeal it may have with the ladies with the whole romance angle of it, I get that, but if they are going to make a vampire story, whether romance, horror, whatever, as the young sparkies say these days, "They need to keep it real". (I apologize for that last comment as I didn't realize how terrible I sound saying that until after it was out.) Vampires don't sparkle when they go outside in the daylight, proven fact. And am I the only one who thought this looked like the scene in Dagobah from The Empire Strikes Back?






Now I don't expect the kids to appreciate or understand how good The Lost Boys was as a movie, especially if many will be basing their opinion on that abomination of a sequel, but how kewl was it when you heard the Bunnymen and their take on "People Are Strange" for the first time. Now mind you, I have no real expertise in the field of the Princes of Darkness, and most of my experiences are from various movies and one numerical genius from a certain "Street" so any donks out there that want to impress the world with their cooler than me knowledge, then by all means, impress away.

Now back to the big event, I will once again try to be the coolest with a big bowl of WOW husband of all time by transforming the Fortress of Solitude into the enchanted lit up Gazebo that all of you folks from Forks dream of. (I can't believe I just referenced Forks.) There will be a massive spread with vampirey themed foods, and yes vampirey is a word, look it up. Actually don't, assclown. The menu is still being finalized and once done, I will post for the absurd amount of readers of my blog.

Well, I have rambled aimlessly enough, and probably pissed off many o' ladies out there (and some dudes, I guess) but who cares if you are titled the most "Awe to the Some" husband in the great void. And with that, I leave you with arguably the most famous vampire of all time, and no it's not Lugosi:

And away we go.....

Well here goes nothing. I don't expect this to be anything insightful, witty, or inspiring. Just a chance to put it out there. What is "it"? Not sure. If you like it, then kewl, if not then so be it. Now that I have this phenomenal vehicle to lay out my thoughts, ideas, sick and twisted as they may be, I am at a blank. Also, the B is screaming for Boobah. For now, this is it.

Feline Regurgitation

As we wander through the day dealing with idiots of the world yapping, commenting, critiquing, whatever, wouldn't it be awesome for once instead of plastering the "I really care" smile on your face to just hack up a little hairball and give them the "clean that shit up beyotch" smirk and walk away. Seems to work for my cats. Gotta go, shocker, my cat puked on the kitchen floor. Bastards!!!