Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Sack Of Wet Mice

So I'm doing my daily sojourn up the 95 corridor going to work this morning and hear something I haven't heard since I was a wee lil tike full of piss and vinegar.  Piss and vinegar?  Who the hell made up that expression, pretty sick ass if you ask me, but I digress.

Back in the day, as the kids like to say (cuz I'm hip assholes) cartoons ruled!!!  Cartoons ruled because as a society, we really didn't give a shit.  We were opinionated, out-spoken, harsh at times, and pretty effing funny.  Now the damn PC police come down on us with a fire hose like it's a 60's race riot.  Cartoons nowadays are no where near as edgy, and for that matter, funny as their counterparts from yesteryear (I'm not entirely sure I like the word yesteryear, but eff it, it's staying in).  Kids nowadays lack the sheer volume of cartoons we had growing up, I mean I can distinctly remember Monday through Friday before going to school watching cartoons for two hours, then when I got home cartoons where on from when I got home until around 5, then the marathon of sitcoms would come on!!  Ah, the sitcoms, now that's another blog in itself, I mean who didn't love Threes Company, Gimme A Break, Silver Spoons, Facts of Life and Diff'rent Strokes, with the exception of the episode when Dudley gets duped at the bike shop!!!  CREEPY!!



 
Back on track though, even the weekends were filled with more 'toon marathons.  Saturdays, pretty much started at 6 am with the Adventures of the Gummi Bears, which I would never totally admit to watching, pussy.  After that, you had The Shirt Tales, Thundarr The Barbarian, The Monchichis, Mister T, Alf, Alvin & The Chipmunks, and let's not forget The Smurfs, although I effing hated the lil blue bastards.  I remember kicking mushrooms over just thinking I was destroying the little rodents.  Yeah, I was a sick fucking puppy!!(Jim Norton reference). 










 











After the seemingly endless run of 'toons my Saturday afternoons would segue (that's segway for the idiots out there!!)  to Monster Theater for a
couple of hours and then Kung Fu theater for the rest of the day.  Now don't get me wrong, I spent plenty of time outside running the streets, okay, woods of my hood and boast about being outside from pretty much sun up to sun down, but much of that was broken up by an annoying amount of running back inside and checking to see what episode of JEM was showing, I mean Silver Hawks!!!!!



Not only was there such an absurd abundance of cartoons to choose from, the content of the 'toons and life lessons they taught were immeasurable.  I mean how else would we learn Latin culture without the likes of good ole Speedy Gonzales, or understand the jive talkin vernacular of the Black community without Heckle and Jeckle.  I first learned of Black Face and Al Jolson because of the many iterations of him by Tom from Tom and Jerry.  And not all 'toons were of the racist variety, I mean Might Mouse was a super hero and they even tried to break the mold of the super hero look with him and his many variations. 



 
I could go on and on yammering about 'toons of my childhood but since I haven't blogged in a while, I don't want to blow my load all on this one magnificant piece of "blogging".  I will leave you with one of the greatest lines by a cartoon in the history of great lines by a cartoon eloquently spoken by the greatest example of Southern Charm Mr. Foghorn Leghorn, "Nice girl, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice."


And on that note, I'm out bitches!!!