Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Sack Of Wet Mice

So I'm doing my daily sojourn up the 95 corridor going to work this morning and hear something I haven't heard since I was a wee lil tike full of piss and vinegar.  Piss and vinegar?  Who the hell made up that expression, pretty sick ass if you ask me, but I digress.

Back in the day, as the kids like to say (cuz I'm hip assholes) cartoons ruled!!!  Cartoons ruled because as a society, we really didn't give a shit.  We were opinionated, out-spoken, harsh at times, and pretty effing funny.  Now the damn PC police come down on us with a fire hose like it's a 60's race riot.  Cartoons nowadays are no where near as edgy, and for that matter, funny as their counterparts from yesteryear (I'm not entirely sure I like the word yesteryear, but eff it, it's staying in).  Kids nowadays lack the sheer volume of cartoons we had growing up, I mean I can distinctly remember Monday through Friday before going to school watching cartoons for two hours, then when I got home cartoons where on from when I got home until around 5, then the marathon of sitcoms would come on!!  Ah, the sitcoms, now that's another blog in itself, I mean who didn't love Threes Company, Gimme A Break, Silver Spoons, Facts of Life and Diff'rent Strokes, with the exception of the episode when Dudley gets duped at the bike shop!!!  CREEPY!!

Back on track though, even the weekends were filled with more 'toon marathons.  Saturdays, pretty much started at 6 am with the Adventures of the Gummi Bears, which I would never totally admit to watching, pussy.  After that, you had The Shirt Tales, Thundarr The Barbarian, The Monchichis, Mister T, Alf, Alvin & The Chipmunks, and let's not forget The Smurfs, although I effing hated the lil blue bastards.  I remember kicking mushrooms over just thinking I was destroying the little rodents.  Yeah, I was a sick fucking puppy!!(Jim Norton reference). 


After the seemingly endless run of 'toons my Saturday afternoons would segue (that's segway for the idiots out there!!)  to Monster Theater for a
couple of hours and then Kung Fu theater for the rest of the day.  Now don't get me wrong, I spent plenty of time outside running the streets, okay, woods of my hood and boast about being outside from pretty much sun up to sun down, but much of that was broken up by an annoying amount of running back inside and checking to see what episode of JEM was showing, I mean Silver Hawks!!!!!

Not only was there such an absurd abundance of cartoons to choose from, the content of the 'toons and life lessons they taught were immeasurable.  I mean how else would we learn Latin culture without the likes of good ole Speedy Gonzales, or understand the jive talkin vernacular of the Black community without Heckle and Jeckle.  I first learned of Black Face and Al Jolson because of the many iterations of him by Tom from Tom and Jerry.  And not all 'toons were of the racist variety, I mean Might Mouse was a super hero and they even tried to break the mold of the super hero look with him and his many variations. 

I could go on and on yammering about 'toons of my childhood but since I haven't blogged in a while, I don't want to blow my load all on this one magnificant piece of "blogging".  I will leave you with one of the greatest lines by a cartoon in the history of great lines by a cartoon eloquently spoken by the greatest example of Southern Charm Mr. Foghorn Leghorn, "Nice girl, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice."

And on that note, I'm out bitches!!!

Monday, January 16, 2012

Thank you.

I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you to a wonderful woman who displayed grace and compassion like no other.

A week ago we lost Connie Huber, Sher Khan, and I know that life without her will never be the same. My life was never the same the moment I was introduced to her over 10 years ago. From the moment Pooz introduced me to Connie and Paul, they treated me with such respect and humility that I had never really experienced before in my life. To come in as a total stranger and for them to accept me into their lives is simply amazing.

In the past 6 years I've dealt with something I've never dealt with before in my life starting with the passing of my boy Markeet, the loss of Deb's mom Ruthann, Granda Kay, and now Connie. The experiences I gained from each of these individuals have helped me get through each loss and have taught me to appreciate my time with those still here. I'll be the first to admit that is still a work in progress, as can be attested by my quick temper and my tough criticisms of my family and myself. But, I would not be the kick ass husband, father, son, dude that I am without having each one of these individuals in my life and the experiences we shared.

Sher Khan, and A.U, gave me a physical tangible image of how I want to envision my life with Pooz, from the "Open 24 Hours" front porch, to the stability and reasoning we can provide when friends and family come to us for support.

There are so many memories I cannot begin to list them all, but I will always remember the simple image of her sitting in the dining room with a glass of tea.

Thank you Connie!!

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Really? Are you effing kidding me?

So i sit here on a random saturday night, about a milky way full o'beers inme and thinking to myself, I can be thinking about an ess ton of different things. But nooooooo.......

That's not the case. I'm surrounded by way effing too many marriages crumbling around me. I know, you're thinking, this dude has way more witty and funny shit to say, but now, I'm more like what the fuck!!!! You fucking clowns are effecting my life. My kids play with yours, my wife hang with yours, we all used to party together, having cookouts, get-togethers, etc, now, that shit is out the window.

Yeah, we can still have cookouts, provided everyone can get along, our wives can still hang out, provided you think we're cool enough to, yeah we can party together when we plan separate parties. You know what I say? TWATS!!!!!!! You all are acting like TWATS!!!!!

I'm not going to get in too deep on this post and I really don't care if I offend anyone cuz nobody really reads this shit anyways but I will say to all those fucking it up,
Thanks!!! Ass Clowns!!!!

Oh, and I love you honey, Got Dayem!!!!!!! We kick ass!!

Oh, and just cuz I know you wanna see this shit....

Sunday, November 20, 2011

American Idol Revisited

Some time ago, I wrote a post about America's next big superstar. Well, much as happened since we were graced with the beautiful stylings of Kayde Brigham. During that time, we endured one of wacktastic winters I can recall. During that winter, we had a couple of epic snowfalls that caused floods and government shutdowns. Well, during the shutdown, Pooz and I had plenty o' time together so we did what any good ole red blooded American couple does, we procreated. Nine months later.....

Well, a year later lil Timmy is doing some pretty swagtastic things.....

But none of this compares to the original Brigham American Idol. And what has the former superstar been up to you ask? Well, let's just say, she may be trying out for the new Fly Girls on the new In Living Colour reboot.


Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Return of the Maize and Blue

Man I've been burning up this blog, with all of the weekly random thoughts series and all, eff off I've been busy being a dad and all! I digress. Well it's that time of year again, temperature begins to drop, leaves start turning, waistline expanding (I'm still a hot Adonis bitches!) it's football season. Thank the maker too cuz the bosox just laid the biggest egg of a september in history. It was completely the players fault too, thanks for memories Francona.

Well back to football, my boys in maize and blue are 5-0 again to start the season, and we all know what happened before, yeah yeah yeah late season ass pounding, we know! But this season seems a little less potentially nuts crushing, I mean look, we actually have a defense. Now no one will mistake them for the '97 squad but hey, we didn't give up 30+ points to a team like UMass. Yeah that UMass famous for Dr. J, Marcus Camby, and don't let us forget about Lou Roe, Edgar Padilla and Carmelo Travieso!

Well I'm gonna keep this one short, damn kids won't let me get a moments rest.