Now mind you, I understand the appeal it may have with the ladies with the whole romance angle of it, I get that, but if they are going to make a vampire story, whether romance, horror, whatever, as the young sparkies say these days, "They need to keep it real". (I apologize for that last comment as I didn't realize how terrible I sound saying that until after it was out.) Vampires don't sparkle when they go outside in the daylight, proven fact. And am I the only one who thought this looked like the scene in Dagobah from The Empire Strikes Back?
Now I don't expect the kids to appreciate or understand how good The Lost Boys was as a movie, especially if many will be basing their opinion on that abomination of a sequel, but how kewl was it when you heard the Bunnymen and their take on "People Are Strange" for the first time. Now mind you, I have no real expertise in the field of the Princes of Darkness, and most of my experiences are from various movies and one numerical genius from a certain "Street" so any donks out there that want to impress the world with their cooler than me knowledge, then by all means, impress away.
Now back to the big event, I will once again try to be the coolest with a big bowl of WOW husband of all time by transforming the Fortress of Solitude into the enchanted lit up Gazebo that all of you folks from Forks dream of. (I can't believe I just referenced Forks.) There will be a massive spread with vampirey themed foods, and yes vampirey is a word, look it up. Actually don't, assclown. The menu is still being finalized and once done, I will post for the absurd amount of readers of my blog.
Well, I have rambled aimlessly enough, and probably pissed off many o' ladies out there (and some dudes, I guess) but who cares if you are titled the most "Awe to the Some" husband in the great void. And with that, I leave you with arguably the most famous vampire of all time, and no it's not Lugosi:
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